Lostin2007's Blog

Tuesday

It was a good day. It was just a normal day. I drank my 48 ounces of water and have been eating 2 salads a day. I also eat at least 1 normal meal. I also danced to 2 songs. woooohooo!

Wednesday

Well i wish i could say it was a good day. It had some good parts and then it pretty much went downhill.   I had a co-worker call in sick, so we were short-handed the rest of the afternoon and evening. It seemed like everything we did had some sort of problem. So everything took alot longer than normal. I also got a stress migraine but luckily it went away after a few hours.

 Then the last sale of the day was the hardest one. I'm not sure if i've said this before but i work for a pharmacy.  Well my last customer was this guy that comes in every month for routine drugs. He has some things going on and he broke down crying. I just wanted to reach out and hug him and tell him it would be ok. I felt so bad for him that i started crying. In fact i'm still crying. lol

It's days like today that i hate my job and i can't wait to get out. It was so stressful and then the guy at the end of the day. It is so hard to see people like him cry. It is so hard to have customers come in and can't afford their medications because they cost hundreds of dollars. I wish i had the power and the authority to just say, you know what, your child needs this medication tonight, just take it. Or your husband needs this medication, just take it. Or your wife needs her cancer medication but it needs approval but just go ahead and take it. I could keep going but i'm sure you understand what i'm saying. But i don't have that authority. I'm just an hourly employee.

Then on the way home i was listening to the radio to some kind of request show.  I'm not really sure what it was but the woman dj said something that got me thinking. I can't remember how she  said it, so it might be a rough explanation. I'm hoping i can explain it correctly. It made sense when she said it. "If you aren't happy now, and you think that happiness will all of a sudden happen when you are older, you are mistaken. If you spend your life waiting for happiness to arrive, you may miss out." 

 I hope that makes sense.  Yes i have moments where i have happiness, which is a start. Do i think that i am happy in general? Not really and that scares me. I know i have some issues i'm working on and that is probably some of why i'm not happy. I guess i've been trying to think of what would make me happy. Afterall it is one of my new year's resolutions to be happy. What does that mean?  I don't expect anyone to answer this question, i'm just trying to get my thoughts out there.

I know things are getting better and I know i can be happy with my life. I have so many things going in the right direction now. I think i need to take care of the job aspect. That is a major reason why i'm not happy. I don't know. I know i'm rambling now, so i'm going to stop for now.

I did drink my 48 ounces of water today and ate my 2 salads. I didn't exercise today, i was too tired when i finally got home and my feet were sore today. They have been better though. wooohoooooooo I've been doing stretching exercises and it seems to be helping so far.

*hugs to everyone*

Sunday

It was a uneventful day. I got up and decided that i was going to exercise. So i put in a CD that has fast paced music and danced like crazy for 25 minutes. I had more fun doing that than walking on a treadmill staring at the walls.

Then i went to my dad's house to watch the Nascar race. Let's just say i thought it was boring. lol Most of the time i like to watch them but it was hard to watch because it seemed like the same person led most of the race.

The movies i watched today was Satisfaction and Like Father, Like Son . They are both older movies from 1987 and 1988. The sad thing is they are on this vhs tape and my tape is starting to break. By breaking i mean that they are getting those squiggly lines where the tape must be wearing out. :(  Now i could live without these two movies but this tape also has Dirty Dancing on it!!!!!!!! I will definitely have to replace it. Oh my poor Dirty Dancing movie. I watched it again tonight. lol I love to watch movies over and over.

Monday

It was an ok day. I had about 15 creditor phone calls on my cell phone. Of course i didn't answer them. Now they are starting to call my work. I'm not sure how they got that phone number but it's hard to deal with that. All of my co-workers know about my situation so they usually cover for me by taking messages. I've told them that they don't need to do that but they still do it. I guess i just feel bad that they are trying to cover for me. I guess i should consider myself lucky that they are so understanding. Sometimes i wish i could just get in my car and runaway. But i know that wouldn't solve anything. But i know things will get better. :) I just know they will!

Work dragged on today for some reason. Probably because i only got 5 hours of sleep again. I just couldn't fall asleep. I did managed to drink 48 ounces of water today. wooohooo go me! Even thought it dragged on, i was in a semi-good mood all day.

When i got home tonight i danced for 1 song. I was too tired to dance anymore. It was a 10 hour work day. I also watched Dirty Dancing again. lol

OOOOOOh guess what! I've lost 14 pounds so far this year!!! Wooooohoooooooo!  That is the best thing that happened today. I got on the scale this morning and i was like what? I thought maybe i was tired and was seeing things, so i got back on and i got the same number. Wooooohooooooo!!!! :)

Someday soon when i lose enough i will disclose the number but not until i'm ready to do so. :) 

One of my favorite Dirty Dancing lines that is said by Baby is

    "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you. "

Saturday

I got 5 hours of sleep before i had to go into work. I only worked for 2 hours and it was so boring but it was easy work. When i went into work it was pouring rain, when i was leaving work it had switched over to a snow/ice mixture. So needless to say it was a fun drive home.

Nothing exciting happened. I did watch 4 movies between Friday night and tonight. Some of them a few years old, others are older. It was so great to watch the movies again.

First one was Final Destination Some people may not like this movie but i enjoyed it. Just scary enough to freak me out but not scary enough to give me nightmares.

The second one was Hope Floats.  I absolutely love this movie! This has to be one of my favorites. It is a feel good movie.

The third movie was Forrest Gump. I absolutely love this movie too. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

The last movie was Dirty Dancing. This movie is so good. It made me want to be a dancer, which i never did. Also Patrick Swayze is hot and an added bonus. ;)

It was good to visit some older movies for a change. :)

Let's see.

Thursday wasn't that bad. I think it's because i knew it was the last day of the work week. I basically ran out of there when it was time to leave. lol

I did manage to get my water in for that day. first time all week, go me!

That night i finally took a melatonin because i was having trouble sleeping and wanted something to knock me out. Then i woke up with a migraine and took some medicine and fell back to sleep. I slept about 11 hours but i was so exhausted after this week of not sleeping good. I wasn't a total lazy bum. I did get up and vacuum the whole place and i cleaned the kitchen and did dishes. So the whole day wasn't totally wasted.

The only problem with sleeping that much, is now my sleeping schedule is really messed up now. I slept friday 4am to almost 4pm. It's now 5am on Saturday and i still haven't been to bed yet. although i do need get some sleep so i can go into work for 2 hours around 1pm. I guess i should go lay down and see if i fall asleep.

I'm off to try to sleep some before i have to go to work.

*hugs*

Okay I didn't do alot this weekend, but that's ok.

On Saturday i slept 9 hours again. Then i got up and started cleaning. I went through almost all of my boxes. I have about 5 boxes left to go through. woohooo! I didn't really exercise unless you count dancing to the music on the radio. That is embarrassing to admit but i had fun. I also danced until i was wore out. Which is about 3 songs or about 15 minutes, so i count it as exercising. :)

Then on Sunday i got up and went to my dad's to watch the Nascar race, The Daytona 500. It was the 1st race of the season. It was a good race however almost all of my drivers ended up out of the race. :(  I wasn't happy with the ending either but oh well. My #1 driver i root for is Kurt Busch and my #2 driver i root for is Jimmie Johnson. I have others but those are the ones i always root for first.  Sunday i didn't get anything else accomplished. The race was 5-6 hours long. I came home and put a movie in. One i've seen a dozen times already, Casino Royale. Now i'm being lazy until i get tired enough to go to sleep.

Oh and i've lost 10 pounds since January 1st!!!!!! Wooooooohooooooo go me!!!! :)

*hugs* to everyone! Hope you have a good week!

I saw 2 movies on Friday. They are both really good!

The first movie i saw was The Departed. It has Leonard Dicaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson and Mark Wahlberg in it. It was a really good movie and i would definitely watch it again. I didn't really care for the ending but that's me.

The second movie i saw was The Illusionist . It has Edward Norton and Jessica Biel in it. It was a really good movie. It has a magical touch to it but it was awesome.

We are supposed to be getting 2-4 inches of snow tonight, which is fine because i don't have anywhere to go until Sunday. It is going to be getting warmer. You know what that means, Springtime is just around the corner. woooohoooo I love Spring.

I didn't really do much today (Friday). I got up and went to the beauty salon to get my eyebrows done. Ouch! It is so painful but they were getting out of control. I usually try to do it here but i wasn't keeping up. I usually only go to the beauty salon to get them done maybe 3 times a year. I think that's all i can take as far as pain. Isn't it funny that it doesn't hurt when i do it but when they do it, i'm in pain for hours? They still hurt and it's been 12 hours since they were done. Sometimes a little bit of pain is necessary to look better. :)

I didn't work out today. I just didn't feel like it. I was so tired, i couldn't drag my butt out of bed. I slept for 9 hours. :) My goal is to workout tomorrow.

Hope you have a good day.

So on Tuesday the weather continued to decline all day long. We ended up getting a 1/2 inch of ice and a few inches of snow on top of the ice. I had to work until 10pm that night so i decided not to try to drive home. The roads were just too bad and i have to drive 20 minutes on a hilly curvy road and that is if the roads are clear. So i decided to stay at a hotel close to my work. I had already thrown a change of clothes in my car, just in case. The hotel room was free though because one of my co-workers has a family member that runs the hotel. :) I am finally home today though. woohooo. I get to sleep in my own bed. I still can't park in my driveway because it is a solid sheet of ice and it has an incline. I know i would never make it out in the morning. So i had to park a block away in a church parking lot and walk home. But that's ok, because i'm home. wooohoooo

My water heater has been working fine. I'm hoping it will still work fine in the morning. I haven't used it in 2 days, so we'll see. Ever since it went out i've been afraid it won't work again. lol

My eating habits are all messed up right now because i haven't been home to eat the healthy stuff and i didn't really feel like driving in the ice and snow to get a salad. I tried to pick the healthiest stuff to eat like cereal and chips and salsa and soups.

Just wanted to write a short little post. :)

Hope you have a great day!

Sunday

I tossed and turned all night and got woke up by my landlord at 9am. He was trying to fix the water heater. It didn't get fixed today. I did pilates and can definitely tell it's working. In the afternoon i went down to my dad's to take a shower and to hang out. I fell asleep on his couch for about an hour, i was so tired. I'm sure i  only got 4 hours of sleep on saturday night. It was 5am the last time i looked at the clock. Oh well.

Monday

It was so busy at work today. I didn't even get a lunch break, so i ended up working 10 hours straight. Since a winter storm is on the way everyone was trying to get their stuff. The bad news is the winter storm started to hit around 10pm and it hasn't let up yet. It is a mixture of snow and ice. Supposedly it is supposed to do this all day Tuesday too. I'm hoping they are wrong about that. I can hear the ice hitting my window. In case you haven't figured out yet, winter weather freaks me out. Actually the driving in it freaks me out, the rest i can tolerate. So it might be a fun time trying to get into work in the morning. Anyone want to drive me?

My water heater is supposedly fixed. I have hot water right now, but it made a funny noise when i used the kitchen sink which is right above it. So we'll see in the morning if it really works. I hope i have a hot shower. If not i'll have to brave it down to my dad's house again.

I am still sore from the pilates. I can feel muscles that i could never feel before. I'm really imprssed. That means that they are working. :)

I can't think of anything else to write so i'm off to sleep before i fall asleep right here.

I got up today and exercised. I did 30 minutes of pilates and 10 minutes of taebo. I was exhausted after that. I did clean the kitchen up and started on some of the piles in the living room and i got the piles in the hallway cleaned up. woohoo go me!

My water heater is broken. :( The landlord doesn't know what is wrong with the heater and he didn't have any spare parts since it was almost 6pm. I didn't know it didn't work until around 5. So he is supposed to come sometime on Sunday morning to see if he can figure it out and then go from there. Luckily my dad just lives down the street so i was able to take a shower there. Looks like i'll have to go there on Sunday too. I really hope the landlord can get it fixed. It is a pain to have to get ready at someone else's house because they have their own schedules. I don't like intruding on them. So we'll see how it turns out.

Then i watched the Devil Wears Prada again. It's the like the 6th time i've seen the movie but i wanted a movie that i could watch and do other things too (like go through some piles of papers).  Looks like we are going to get snow again. Unfortunately i don't think it is possible for the snow to start and stop in one day. They are saying right now that it will hit over 2 days. Oh well, can't be lucky all the time.

I just wanted to say that i haven't cried since I talked to the lawyer. I haven't even been on the verge of tears but maybe twice and it's been a week. :) Personally i think that is great. Now i don't have to worry about the what if's, because i already know what i need to do. :)

I might do some yoga tapes tomorrow and maybe pilates, depends on how i feel. I will at least do one. :)

Have a good day!

Movie day

I didn't get much accomplished today. I got up around noon (didn't go to bed until 4am) and went to my dad's and walked on the treadmill for 25 minutes. Then i went home had some lunch and worked on getting my vcr that i got for christmas hooked up. Yeah i haven't really had time to get it hooked up. I tried to hook it up last weekend but i had the wires all messed up. So today i unhooked all of the wires and actually read the directions. I finally got it to work and i watched the movie The Beach with Leonardo Dicaprio. It was an ok movie, a little strange at times, but i liked the message it gave at the end. I'm not going to give away the ending. The message was paradise doesn't have to be a place, it can simply be a moment or being with someone in particluar. :) http://www.thebeachmovie.com/" title="http://www.thebeachmovie.com/" target="_blank"http://www.thebeachmovie.com/... 

Then i went to my dad's for dinner. We had chicken, corn, mashed potatoes, and noodles. It was so good. I stayed there for a few hours just visiting and hanging out. It was fun to hang out with family. When i got home i was going to clean, but i watched another movie instead. lol It was called In and Out and it was an ok movie. It was funny. It's about how an hollywood actor who wins an award thanks his gay english teacher. Only the english teacher isn't gay or is he? You'll have to watch the movie to find out. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119360/" title="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119360/" target="_blank"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0... that tells more about it.

So nothing exciting happened. It was just a movie watching day. My plan is to clean tomorrow after exercising. :)

So the other day i wrote this in a blog I'm hoping the snow hits earlier in the day because i hate driving in it. I figure if it hits earlier in the day, the road crews will have it plowed by the time i have to go home from work. I know i'm dreaming lol. (it's the blog before this one, in case you want to read it, although nothing exciting)

Guess what? Even little dreams come true. On Tuesday the snow started to hit around 11am and finally stopped around 7pm. I didn't get off work until 10pm. The road crews had already started to plow. In fact there happened to be a road crew in front of me, plowing the same road i was taking. So the roads i had to take were pretty well scraped off.

So see little dreams do come true. :)

I know i'm silly but i was really impressed that it really did happen that way.

Not much has happened this week. I'm almost over this horrible cold. I still feel really tired so i've been sleeping a little bit more at night. I think the cold is making me more tired. It is so hard to get out of bed when you know it is cold outside because you are so warm and toasty.

That's all for now, i know this wasn't a big post but i had to post about my little dream. ;)

Sunday night i watched the Super Bowl. I was rooting for the Chicago Bears but the Indianapolis Colts won. The Colts really deserved to win because they played so much better than the Bears. I'm not mad that they beat the Bears, afterall they are my team. I'm from Indiana. I just grew up watching the Bears, so i root for the Bears first. It will probably be a good thing for the state. So Congrats Colts.

I was able to drink 24 ounces of water today and i had a salad. So i got most of my vegetables in today.

I really wish it was spring. I hate cold weather and this 20 below zero with the windchill weather is starting to bother me. Although we are going to have a heat wave tomorrow. We are supposed to reach a high of 20. woohoo We are also supposed to get 6 inches of snow tomorrow too. But at least it is starting to warm up. I would love for it to be 30 degrees. Is that bad that i think 30 degrees is a heat wave? lol Then supposedly it is supposed to stay up around 30 for awhile. I'm hoping the snow hits earlier in the day because i hate driving in it. I figure if it hits earlier in the day, the road crews will have it plowed by the time i have to go home from work. I know i'm dreaming lol.

I think that's all for now, nothing too exciting.

Friday went well. I got up and went to my dad's house to do 25 minutes on the treadmill.

I also went to the lawyer in the afternoon. The good news is i qualify to file bankruptcy, the bad news i have to have $1200 to file. I don't have anywhere near there so it will be a few months before i can get that much money together. I will probably have to use some or most of my tax check to pay. So it will be awhile before i can do that.

It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I was so nervous and stressed. Now i'm glad i went because it was a relief. Now i know exactly where i stand and what i need to do. It helped. I thought for sure i was going to cry but i didn't. woohoo

I didn't exercise today because i don't feel good. I have this sinus cold headache. It hurts so bad. I'm hoping it is almost done because i've been feeling like crap for almost a week now. I alternate between my nose running and not being able to breathe and then sneezing etc. I'm sure you really wanted to know all that information lol but i had to vent.  lol

I was planning on cleaning some again but i just haven't really felt like doing anything. I just want to rest. I wanted to tackle the living room boxes but i didn't get that accomplished. So maybe next weekend. All i've done this weekend is lay in front of the tv watching movies and sleeping.

I have been drinking my 24 ounces of water and eating more vegetables. :)

Sunday night is the Superbowl! wooohooooo I can't wait to watch it! It's the Indianapolis Colts versus the Chicago Bears. woooooooooohooooooooooo So you know i won't be cleaning Sunday night because i have to watch the game.

Go Bears!!!!!

I will reply to comments and posts friday evening. *hugs*

I've spent the last couple of hours getting paperwork ready for the lawyer. I called them up today thinking oh i will get an appointment in a few weeks. They had an appointment open for tomorrow. It's just the free consulation but i didn't have everything ready. I"m not sure even what i need but i put together what i think i need. So i've been stressing the last couple of hours. It's that step that i dont' want to take but there really isn't any other option right now. So it's hard to do it.

I did manage to drink my water today woohooo! I am planning on going to my dad's tomorrow and exercising. wooohoooo :)

It's 3am finally have paperwork done and i'm off to sleep.